I hope you’re doing well wherever you are.  Life is full of things we can measure.  Things like money, grades, scores, can be clearly seen as a result.  Good?  Bad?  Pass?  Fail?  You don’t have to be a math nerd or a genius to appreciate the value of good old number based subject matters.  But when it comes to personal growth, relational growth, mental and emotional health…how do we measure that?  I’m finishing up one of the many books I have read about finding “peace” and “balance” and I can’t help but be left with the same old lingering question.  When it comes to ourselves and our own growth and progress, how do we know when good is good enough?

Nothing left to give

Here’s a scenario that I’m sure you are familiar with.  You come home from a day at work.  You are tired and maybe it wasn’t the best of days.  All the energy you had, you spent trying to maintain your focus for your work or towards your coworkers.  Now you have to give MORE to your kids and your spouse.  That’s right.  Time to up your game even more to the things that are really important to you.  But what if you’re running on empty?  Do you push through that?  Do you plead to your spouse to take over the responsibilities for the next hour so you can get a moment of peace?

The answer is yes.  And that’s the problem.  We can’t seem to be ok with the decision we need to make in the moment.  Sometimes we need to push through fatigue and give a little more and sometimes we need to get a moment to rest and recharge.  It really doesn’t matter what it is, the problem is rarely in the decision, it’s what we attach to it.  The meaning we give it.  It’s also what we hold in and don’t communicate.  I’ll explain.

Would you judge your kids if they were exhausted and beat down?  Hopefully not.  Would you judge your spouse?  Hopefully not.  Why do we judge ourselves?  It’s like we already feel bad and then we feel bad about feeling bad.  Or in other words we feel guilty, for example.  And then there are the times that we just need to suck it up and do what we can with what we have.  Either way, we need to make a decision.

How do we do accept our efforts?

We need to communicate our wants and needs.  Sometimes we’ll get what we are asking for.  Sometimes we won’t.  But we need to work with what we’ve got.  Make the decision and either communicate what you need help with.  Or let go of what you can’t control.  Tired?  Yep.  Can’t argue that.  Need some time to rest?  Yep.  That doesn’t make you weak or a terrible person.  Need to step up for something you value because you have no choice, then do that.  But don’t blame other people.  Don’t blame yourself.  Do the thing the best you can and trust yourself.

About the faith and trust thing

Trust?  Faith in yourself?  That might seem like a foreign concept at times.  We live in a world that is very outwardly focused and judgment and evaluation driven.  But life and human nature is not easily measured and I’d argue it’s best to not measure it or even try to.  Maybe even establish a mantra that says “I am doing the best I can in the moment with what I have and that is ok.”

So what is good enough then?  It’s an internal acknowledgement.  It’s a self forgiveness of our own sense of self.  Our perfectly flawed self.  Communicate to others when you need help.  Be at peace when you make the decision from the best of your intentions.  Own your mistakes.  Be open to learning more about yourself and others.  Trust your decisions.  Give yourself some room to be human.  And when we do that, we are good enough.  And know that there is plenty of time and opportunities down the road to get better.  But we can only be as good as we are in the moment.

So what do you do to rest in the knowing that your “good” is good enough?  Drop a comment or send me an email.

All the best to you!

John