This is from my email I sent out to subscribers on Monday the 29th of January, 2018.
Hey, and happy Monday…
I hope your weekend was well. The weather was a balmy 50 plus degrees here in Cincinnati, OH. The kids got a chance to get outside for a bit and play which was nice because it makes it a little bit easier to deal with their energy and mood. I say just…a…little. Because we all know that things don’t go according to plans and moods and tempers flare. Not just with kids but with adults. But something happened that reminded me how simple things can be sometimes when we’re looking for a change or a breakthrough. So here’s my simple tip and solution…
Do Something Different
That’s right. Change takes change. And yes, I know that it’s easier said than done. Practice is different than theory. But a few days ago my wife and I got into a small argument and I could tell that she was upset. And to be honest, I wasn’t the most diplomatic partner in the moment (this might be shocking to hear since I am a couples counselor but I’m also a human being…a flawed human being at that). Instead of telling her the reasons that I made the comment that upset her and instead of trying to defend myself as I could feel the tension escalating…I just listened to her. I acknowledged her. I told her that I could see why she was upset and how I made her upset. I took a deep breath and owned my part…and just listened.
Don’t Wait for Perfection
Sometimes we make things more complicated than they need to be. Most of the time if we simply do something different, from a loving intention, we will see something great take place. Connection. Healing. A real change. You can do this at any time. You don’t need to read a ton of books. You don’t need months and months of therapy. You just need to trust yourself and your partner and slow down and do something you usually don’t do. And remember change always takes change. You got this!
Good luck, have a good week and let me know what you think!
Want more? Check out the Free Relationship Improvement Guide I put together.
John
I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Such simple ideas, but sometimes difficult to put into action. Thanks for your work.
Jim, thanks so much for reading. These realizations are simple and the part of us that knows them in the fluid way, the natural way, and sees them as simple is the part of us that when we allow to be…can be the part of us that steps forward and acts.