When I posted my blog about how men in relationships and their lack of vulnerability, I promised that I would follow-up with something about women. It’s not that we need to bash men or women and our flawed relationship strategies, we just need to shed some light on why they’re dysfunctional. Let’s just call a… Read More »
marriage counseling
What to look for when choosing a therapist
Frequently I hear from clients that they did like or did not connect with their past therapists. It could be easy to say that it’s just a simple matter of “there are a lot of bad therapists out there”, but I think it goes deeper than that. Getting therapy that works is about finding a… Read More »
How do I know when I should see a counselor?
When is the right time to see a counselor? This is a very good question. It can be hard to know when we’ve crossed over from being able to “handle our stuff” on our own to seeking professional help. Many of us have lived up to the mantra of “suck it up and deal with… Read More »
Indecisiveness and why making the RIGHT decision is overrated
One of the common themes with my clients that I see is their consistent questioning and doubting of themselves when it comes to making decisions. Decisions with raising kids, decisions with career choices, decisions with relationships, and especially ending relationships. “Will I make the right decision? Will it all work out? Will it happen… Read More »
Your “soul mate” isn’t “perfect” for a reason
Relationships are challenging at times, especially as we grow as adults. Relationships go through phases and stages. Ideally, we would like to choose a partner that moves through the growth of the relationship with us. We start from the “honeymoon” period where each partner presents him and herself as the ideal mate. We’re kind of… Read More »
“Thinking positive” may not always work
Dealing with emotions is probably the most difficult balancing act that we experience in our lives. When we spend too much time and effort avoiding emotions, we are in denial. When we spend too much time trying to fight them, we are angry and resentful. When we exert too much energy taking advantage of the power and leverage… Read More »
It’s not you, it’s me
I found this very accurate. Going inward is hard work but the payoff is well worth it. I guess when you meet your “soulmate” that’s pretty much their job. Making you face yourself for your own growth. From Ram Dass: “What you have found from your past relationships is that what you are attracted to in a person isn’t… Read More »
Change is always an inside job
(This, like many topics that I deal with concerning my clients, also hits home for me. Remembering who is responsible for change seems like a common sense concept. However, it never hurts to be reminded of the simple things. I know I appreciate it when I am reminded.) Much of my time interacting with my… Read More »
Communication breakdown
Talking logically is how we prefer to interact. Using our intellect allows to clearly and coherently express ourselves, communicating in the most efficient and courteous manner. What happens when we get angry, however, is a different story. Intellect and rational thinking usually get thrown out. The “heat of emotion” clouds our thinking and in times… Read More »