My article featured in The Good Men Project. You can read the original post here.
marriage counseling
Kids, work, and no time for a marriage. 5 tips to change it.
I didn’t feel old when I got married. I didn’t feel old when I turned 35. I didn’t feel old when my wife and I had our first daughter. In April we had our second daughter. Now I’m feeling it. The child coverage in the house has gone from “double team” to “man to man”…. Read More »
What’s with all the anger and division?
Everyone has to have noticed what seems to be an increase in violence, anger, and division in the world. There’s something tragic to see or hear about everyday. Everybody wants there to be some peace and resolution but there’s no one consensus to how to help. The world is rapidly changing. We can’t deny it…. Read More »
What is the difference in being assertive vs. being aggressive?
Have you ever been told “you need to be more assertive?” But what does that mean? How do you know if in your attempt to be more assertive, you won’t be coming across to people as aggressive? Being assertive is necessary to get what you want and need. But if you’re worried about how you’ll… Read More »
“My husband is depressed” What you can do about it
Have you been thinking “my husband is depressed” but aren’t sure what to do? I read a book 3 years ago that changed how I approached counseling. It’s called “I Don’t Want to Talk About It” by Terry Real. In the book, Terry writes about men and depression and the cycle of shame that comes… Read More »
Why are relationship struggles so hard to change?
When couples come to their first session for couples counseling I ask them this question: “What would you want to see change in your relationship for this process to be a success?” What Couples Want From Their Relationships They want: “to communicate better” “to have better intimacy” “to get back to where we were” “to… Read More »
5 ways that we self sabotage
Does it seem that you seldom get what you want? Does it seem that you come second to others or their needs? Why can’t you ever seem to get a break? Or why does it seem as if “nobody understands you”? We play a key role when we aren’t getting what we want or need,… Read More »
Your partner won’t change? Here’s what might be getting in the way.
Many of us have been in a relationship that eventually begs the question of “will my partner ever change?” “What is reasonable change to ask for them to do? Is this just “who they are?” “Should I wait for them to change or should we end this?” The answer looks like this: It’s very important… Read More »
Your partner can’t read your mind. 3 things to ask yourself.
Yeah, yeah. We all know that our partners can’t read our minds. But do we really get what that means? Are you frustrated that you can’t seem to get what you need? Are you not feeling understood by your partner? Ask yourself these things: Did you actually tell your partner what you want him/her to… Read More »
What some troubled marriages are lacking
The most often heard comment in my office a few weeks into couples counseling: “I honestly thought we would come into counseling and you’d tell us that HE was the one who needed most of the work! Now I can see where my own stuff is adding to the problems we are having.” It is… Read More »