Josh Mains, MS, LPC, DARTT
I’ve been reflecting on the challenges of life recently. Things can be great and all at the same time, extremely trying. Personal struggles. Professional challenges. Disappointments. Does it end? Should we even expect it to?
Maybe there was a hope or dream you’ve had for a long time, but it hasn’t quite panned out yet. Maybe your career, your love-life, parenthood, or some project of yours has felt like nothing but an uphill battle, and not very many rewarding moments like you had hoped. Or maybe you’re just facing some other life struggle at the moment, and you’ve found yourself asking (as I have), “Why does this have to be so hard?” Or in other words, “Why is life so hard?”
Well, I have no idea but I wish I knew why life is so hard sometimes. I know for me, my mind is drawn towards the Bible, and the theological answers to this question. But I wanted to stay away from the philosophical/theological answers for this blogpost, and just offer to you some of my own reflections recently on why life is hard. Or at least, some redeeming qualities to life being hard.
Reflection 1: We grow as a result of the struggle
As much as I hate going through the struggle when I’m in the midst of one, I can say that as I look back on various struggles in my life, I’m actually thankful for them. Why? Because I learned something, and grew as a result of that struggle. I can look back and see that I either had a level of grit and determination that I didn’t know I had, or, I can look back and learn from mistakes I made in the midst of the struggle. Just like working out causes muscle growth through stressing the muscles, so do we grow personally as life circumstances stress us.
Reflection 2: The struggle can mold us into a better version of ourselves
Think about it, if you encountered no hardship or struggle in your life, you would probably not be a pleasant person to be around. You would have no ability to empathize with others who are going through a hardship, and you would also have no real depth. By contrast, people who have gone through hardships and have come out the other side have a wisdom about them. They’re able to truly empathize with others, and also have real wisdom on how to navigate the difficulties of life. And if we can trust that our struggles are refining us, as a refining fire purifies gold, we too can come out the other side of a struggle better for it.
Reflection 3: We grow closer to God in the midst of our struggles
There are two sayings I’ve heard a lot in Christian circles over the years. The first one goes something like, “We don’t know why God allows bad things to happen to us, but we do know that He promises to be with us in the midst of them.” And the second one goes like, “You don’t know that God is all you need until God is all you have.” And I can say that I’ve gotten to live out both of these experiences in my life. Some of the hardest moments in my life were also some of the sweetest because I felt so close to God during those times. It’s kind of like when you’ve been out in snowy, cold weather for hours and hours, and then you finally are able to come inside and get all warmed up. The warmth of the house feels so much more sweet and relieving having been out in the cold. And likewise, God’s sweet and nurturing presence is that much more sweet and nurturing as a result of whatever struggle we are facing. So that being said, I think the greatest encouragement I could leave you with is that the next time you find yourself in the struggle, run to God. Every trial we face in this life is an opportunity to experience God’s comforting presence. So when you’re struggling (because in this life, we will), bring your heart to God. As a mother comforts her child who’s crying, so God longs to comfort us when we cry out to Him. “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…” (Isaiah 66:13 NIV).
So there you have it. These are definitely not answers as to why life is hard, but they at least can give us a new perspective on how to view hardship. And hopefully, these perspectives can help us embrace hardship the next time we come face to face with it.
That’ll do for now. Till next time!
What are your thoughts?