Not long ago I was in my old office asking myself “when is this going to turn for me?”  I had persistent and overwhelming feelings of being “stuck” and a lack of fulfillment with my work. I lacked a clear sense of direction.  Sure, I’d get done what needed to get done but I was left, more days than not, leaving work wondering if this was all there was.  I often thought, “Is this the usual routine for me here on out?  Maybe I should just be happy having a good paying job?”

I did this for another year thinking that one morning I’d wake up with some clarity that I was in the best place possible for me. That day never came.  If anything the sense of being “burned out” with what I was doing became stronger.

“No more war!”

The war on drugs.  The war on poverty.  The war against war. The actual wars going on.  I could go on with more examples. We like to fight things we don’t like.  Things that don’t feel good to us.  Things we perceive as unjust.  We spend much of our lives struggling and fighting.  Anytime we are in resistance to “what is” we experience stress.  Stress, by no accident, is a major cause to disease, a lack of energy, depression, and an unhappy life.  When we’re in a situation that we feel we “should” stick out but we really don’t want to be in, we experience signs of burnout.  So when we feel burnout, what do we do? We do what we always do.  We fight it.

What burnout is saying

Imagine you have an internal GPS that you’ve had since you were born.  It’s the same internal regulating system that told you as a kid what you liked to do, what was fun, and how you could be your creative self.  Well…you still have that internal GPS.  And when you’re off track with your career, relationship, or daily life, you feel burned out.  Burnout isn’t a problem to be managed. It’s a message from you to you.  It’s only a problem if you are ignoring it or trying to make it go away.

Fighting it doesn’t work

It’s good to take care of yourself.  Exercise.  Taking vacations. Taking time off of work.  Hanging with friends.  But you should be doing these things regardless of your feelings of burnout.  You should be doing these things because you need to, not in reaction to the symptoms of burnout.  For example, If you are to build an effective exercise routine you exercise as a part of your lifestyle and personal regimen.  It becomes a part of who you are.  You exercise because it adds to your life, not because you’re trying to fight the symptoms of being out of shape.

If you are sensing burnout and turn to “self care” as a means to combat burnout without allowing your burnout to tell you what it needs to tell you…you are missing out on a bigger message.

Here’s what you can do…

Drop the obligations

What’s one thing you can say no to this week?  What’s something you have been wanting to say no to but can’t seem to do it?  What are you cramming into your work or life routine that is getting in the way of you feeling less stressed?  Why aren’t you saying no to these things?  What’s stopping you?

Because we all want to be useful, capable, and helpful for others we tend to take on too much.  We take on more than we really want, or even need to.  Somewhere we’ve left out our obligation to meet our own wants and needs.  Sure we all have things we “have to do” but aren’t crazy about.  But how many things do we take on that we really don’t need to be doing?  The things that we’re just used to always saying “yes” to.

Say no to something this week.  Give it a try.  See how it feels and how it changes your outlook and mood.

Allow yourself to burnout

What?  Who does this? By all means, don’t torture yourself.  But do allow yourself to explore what your burnout is trying to communicate to you.  Do this without the second guessing, the guilt, or the “shoulds” that creep into your mind telling you you’re doing something wrong.  See what happens.  Drop the resistance and stress from fighting it.

Most importantly, listen to your burnout

When your body is ill or injured it tells you.  The body never lies.  Would you ignore your body when it’s telling you something isn’t right?  Feelings of burnout are no different.  They can feel like being drained, being frustrated, fatigued, empty, or feeling depressed.  Do you ignore your feelings of burnout?  Do you tell yourself to “suck it up and deal with it”?  Do you blame yourself for not being able to “hack it” and manage your situation better?  Just for a second, entertain the idea that you are not the problem. Your feelings of burnout are not a reflection of your worthiness, skills, or level of strength.

Any new change starts with change.  Any new beginning starts with a shift in approach and behavior.   Maybe you drop your resistance and start listening to your intuition.  Maybe the message is “leave”. Maybe it says “change” your situation.  Or maybe it says “accept what is”.

Whatever you find, you’ll be taking care of yourself because you’ll be living your truth.  You’ll better be able to do what serves you without the usual stress, obligation, and guilt that’s been feeding your burnout.  And that’s a risk worth taking.