Have you ever been told “you need to be more assertive?” But what does that mean? How do you know if in your attempt to be more assertive, you won’t be coming across to people as aggressive? Being assertive is necessary to get what you want and need. But if you’re worried about how you’ll… Read More »
People Pleasing
Knowing when it’s time to quit your job
Hasn’t everyone had a fantasy of quitting a job they don’t like? Or making some kind of dramatic exit as they tell their boss what’s really on their minds? It’s not really like that. We can’t just quit our jobs at the spur of the moment. We can do that, but not without some consequence… Read More »
5 ways to deal with difficult relatives
I was recently talking to a woman who dreads family gatherings. She says, “It’s my cousins and aunt. Nothing I do or say can escape criticism or comments.” They still judge and tease her as if she was a helpless 12 year old. She’s 26 now. She tells me how much she resents this side… Read More »
Don’t believe everything you think! 5 self defeating beliefs to challenge
It’s easier now than ever to see what other people are doing in their lives. Just get onto Facebook, or another social media platform, like Instagram. Within seconds you’ll be hit with pictures and stories of people who seem to have what you don’t. The perfect job, relationship, and vacation. You’re force fed what seem… Read More »
How to say “no” to people (and be ok with it)
How often do we concede to doing something that we really don’t want to do? How often do we then turn around and resent the person for asking us for the favor? Or blame someone else for not having enough time and energy to get done what we need to? Whether it’s something for a… Read More »
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t
One moment you’re so sure that your mind and intuition are telling you the right things. “I can’t tell him no. He’s going to be really upset if I do that.” “Don’t take the chance, there’s too much to lose.” “Nobody really cares what I have to say anyway. It’s a waste of time.” The… Read More »
How do I know when I should see a counselor?
When is the right time to see a counselor? This is a very good question. It can be hard to know when we’ve crossed over from being able to “handle our stuff” on our own to seeking professional help. Many of us have lived up to the mantra of “suck it up and deal with… Read More »
Change is always an inside job
(This, like many topics that I deal with concerning my clients, also hits home for me. Remembering who is responsible for change seems like a common sense concept. However, it never hurts to be reminded of the simple things. I know I appreciate it when I am reminded.) Much of my time interacting with my… Read More »
Personal empowerment
We’ve all done it at some point. We go against our better intuition in making a decision whether it’s casual or of serious importance. We look back with regret on what we “should have” or “shouldn’t have” done. We’ll say things to ourselves such as “I had a feeling” or “I knew this would happen”. Is… Read More »