I love going on adventures, especially outdoors. And recently, I got to experience a new kind of outdoor adventure: Rock climbing. I had already been climbing for a while now at indoor rock climbing facilities, but this was my first time getting to do some true outdoor climbing. And it was awesome. Now, I imagine… Read More »
Focus and being present
Respecting Feelings, But Not Being Controlled By Them
The balance we seek in life is within us. Not others. To be “in balance” we are in a place where we can allow our feelings to be part of us. This only happens when we are led by our rational logical mind. The rational logical mind, or the “functional adult”, is the part of… Read More »
Dealing With What Is
A couple of weekends ago I hosted the yearly men’s group retreat. We got a lodge in central Ohio for the Friday to Sunday. This is a group of guys that have known each other for several years now through the group and have become very close. It was a great weekend. We had time… Read More »
Staying Informed vs. Staying Sane
Things are obviously heavy and tense right now. Are you feeling it too? If so, you aren’t alone. Politics, social issues, the ongoing virus situation. It’s a lot. When is it too much to consistently remain informed? Or better yet, when was the last time you had fun, had a good laugh, or enjoyed yourself… Read More »
Letting Go
Last week I talked about picking battles. When to engage and when to let go.So what about letting go? What’s the good in letting go? Reduced stress.Lower blood pressure.Reduced depression.Reduced anxiety.Reduced fear. More peace for you.More clarity.Less brain fog.Better relationships.More productivity.More fun.More joy. All it takes is a simple mantra when you’re struggling. “At this moment… Read More »
Yes, You’ve Turned Into Your Parents
Let’s get this out of the way. My parents were kids once too. So were yours. And they had parents. The reason we turn into our parents (for good and bad) is that we had to adapt our relational behaviors to meet our needs as children. Love, acceptance, affirmation, guidance, physical affection. We need it…. Read More »
Are You a Victim or an Adult?
“Life is hard.” “Being an adult is tough.” Truth. You aren’t alone. This isn’t just happening to you. You are more than capable of handling your problems. Even though you may not have the answers right now. You are deserving of love and affection. You are deserving of a good, loving relationship. You have a right… Read More »
Stop Being an A-hole to the People You Love
Note: This is a shame free, non “down with the patriarchy” post. But I am going to briefly talk about how to stay away from being a jerk to the people you love the most. Maybe more specifically, how to be more kind to your spouse. This is where most people struggle. Men, women, it… Read More »
How are you? (No, really…how are you?)
Mike (a client of mine, not his real name) comes into my office. I can see he’s not doing well. I ask him what I ask everyone when I see him. “How’ve you been?” He barely makes eye contact. Something is obviously bothering him. “No”, I say, “how ARE YOU doing?” He gets emotional as… Read More »
The benefit of being “inauthentic”
You’ve probably heard this before. Fake it till you make it. But what does it mean? Should I pretend to like doing something that I don’t really like for the sake of doing it? How long do I have to fake it? Will I ever not have to fake it? Does this make me “unauthentic”?… Read More »