That feeling you get where nothing you do seems to work. That realization where you can’t seem to win. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. None of us like to be there. The thing is that our wives don’t want us to be there either. Whether you’re trying to please your wife,… Read More »
Communication and Relationships
Dealing With What Is
A couple of weekends ago I hosted the yearly men’s group retreat. We got a lodge in central Ohio for the Friday to Sunday. This is a group of guys that have known each other for several years now through the group and have become very close. It was a great weekend. We had time… Read More »
Letting Go
Last week I talked about picking battles. When to engage and when to let go.So what about letting go? What’s the good in letting go? Reduced stress.Lower blood pressure.Reduced depression.Reduced anxiety.Reduced fear. More peace for you.More clarity.Less brain fog.Better relationships.More productivity.More fun.More joy. All it takes is a simple mantra when you’re struggling. “At this moment… Read More »
Choose Your Battles Wisely
A wise person I know says “Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?”But what is the line we draw as what to stand up for ourselves and push back or let things go?How do we know when to engage in conflict and when to let things lie as they… Read More »
Yes, You’ve Turned Into Your Parents
Let’s get this out of the way. My parents were kids once too. So were yours. And they had parents. The reason we turn into our parents (for good and bad) is that we had to adapt our relational behaviors to meet our needs as children. Love, acceptance, affirmation, guidance, physical affection. We need it…. Read More »
Stop Being an A-hole to the People You Love
Note: This is a shame free, non “down with the patriarchy” post. But I am going to briefly talk about how to stay away from being a jerk to the people you love the most. Maybe more specifically, how to be more kind to your spouse. This is where most people struggle. Men, women, it… Read More »
How are you? (No, really…how are you?)
Mike (a client of mine, not his real name) comes into my office. I can see he’s not doing well. I ask him what I ask everyone when I see him. “How’ve you been?” He barely makes eye contact. Something is obviously bothering him. “No”, I say, “how ARE YOU doing?” He gets emotional as… Read More »
Why Don’t Men Talk About Their Depression?
We know men experience depression. We know that it’s one of the most common mental health issues men experience. According to research data from the American Psychological Association, around 30% of men have experienced at least one significant episode of depression in their lives. I would argue that number is even higher given that many… Read More »
Calm is contagious
The Navy Seals have a mantra that “calm is contagious”. Just the same that fear and anger are contagious. The vast majority of us are not Navy Seals, and for good reason. The training these service members have to go through and the sacrifices they endure push them to their mental and physical limits in… Read More »
Will I Ever Get Better?
Who hasn’t been disappointed in the lack of progress? Who hasn’t wondered if things will ever turn around for them? Of course we know that feeling frustration about things feeling stagnated is a part of life. One step forward, two steps back? Maybe. Maybe not. One of the most common things I hear from clients… Read More »